Tell Us What You Want, What You Really Really Want
Posted by knbarrett on December 28, 2009
Over the last nine months, I’ve discovered a set sequence to the questions people ask a pregnant woman. First, “When are you due?” Second, “Are you having a girl or a boy?” Third, “Are you going to keep working after the baby arrives?” It’s the third FAQ that bothers me a little. I’ve heard my husband asked the first two questions, but the third one is always reserved for me. Just once, I’d love to hear my husband asked how he plans to balance having a child with the demands of work or if he’s considered staying home full-time. Alas, I try and keep the snide remarks to myself and deliver my stock answer. I plan to return to work after maternity leave. Don’t get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for stay-at-home moms. But. . . I’ve never personally considered it an option.
I have always believed that having a family would not preclude me from having a successful career. At the same time, though, I have made intentional career choices to facilitate the balancing act. I recently left a job that required frequent international travel and now work as a consultant, which grants me greater freedom and control over my activities and schedule. I want to make my mark on this world and make it home in time to tuck my child into bed at night. My work and life responsibilities are not separate spheres with clearly delineated boundaries; they co-exist. I want a career where integrating my work and non-work is possible.
This week’s “Tell Us What You Want, What You Really Really Want Theme” is career expectations. We want to hear from you, Gen Y:
- What kind of career do you want?
- What does work-life balance mean to you?
You can post your musings on Young Women Misbehavin’, Facebook, Twitter or email me at kbarrett@bpwfoundation.org.
Jessica said
People often ask me WHEN I want to have children (not IF). I respond by saying that I would love to adopt a child – maybe two – when I’m in a loving marriage with someone who is willing to be a stay-at-home father. The usual response to this statement? Laughter. I’ve done quite a lot of research and writing on “the price of motherhood” (fantastic book: http://www.anncrittenden.com/about.htm) and realized kids are not in the mix for me as my dreams include becoming the CEO of a company or President of a not-for-profit or working in a Presidential Administration. These goals all require the ability to determine my own short- and long-term priorities – something not possible as a primary-care giving parent. I often hear women describe motherhood as a seemingly awful chore when being a parent is a CHOICE. Although I can only imagine how difficult it is, parenting becomes a responsibility only after the child is born. I’m neutral to anyone becoming a parent, but I do hope individuals recognize the full responsibility associated with having a child, including putting personal goals and aspirations on hold.
For what it’s worth, I also believe my ability to positively impact the world will be far greater as a leader without children than as a mother raising future citizens. When I think about what I REALLY WANT, it is to have a positive impact on the disadvantaged people of the world, and I can be the most effective at this without children.